Postpartum Feelings

Here’s me in my postpartum emotional glory.

My husband was trying to take a cute picture of us because Anthony was finally letting me hold him, and I couldn’t even contain the tears. It’s been so long since I’ve held him like this, and I’m so used to holding my newborn.

Hand me my toddler, and I will cry on the spot.

He’s so big.

He’s so smart.

He doesn’t rely on me to eat.

He doesn’t always want to hug me anymore.

He finds comfort in the arms of others.

He’s an actual human that can function a lot more without me than he used to.

I wish I wouldn’t have been as hard on myself as I was when he was in the newborn stage. I wish I could say that I enjoyed all the moments - that I let myself just do “nothing” and enjoy his smell and cuddles.

But I didn’t.

I had to clean, cook, still “get things done” during the day. I didn’t allow myself to just be present in the moment. I felt like I was failing by leaving the house a mess, the laundry undone, and not getting “cute” daily.

It goes by so fast, mamas.

Let yourself do “nothing.” You snuggling them IS SOMETHING. You being present is EVERYTHING.

You won’t wake up one day and say, “damn, I snuggled them too much...” or “I should’ve done the laundry that day.” I can 100% guarantee it.

New moms - if you’re reading this - you don’t have to enjoy every moment; you won’t. It’s impossible. But don’t force yourself to be productive. Force yourself to be present. Be okay with the mess, the chaos, the fear of not knowing what’s next. I can promise you that what comes next, comes fast, and being present is just as productive as doing anything else.

Cuddle them. Hold them. Enjoy them.