First Time Moms

The moms that are dressed up with full makeup on the week after they have their baby - are freaks of nature. This is what it actually looks like.

Where Am I? What Day is It? And why have I forgotten how to dress myself the second I learned how to dress a newborn?

You want to know the secret to parenting? There is no secret.

[ We are all learning ]

There is no magical way to raise your child. Just love them. That is all. And remember to love yourself. Give yourself a couple of hours a week for some self-care. A happy mommy makes a better mommy. Wanting to do everything yourself and not accepting help is just going to hurt you in the long run. I know some people aren’t blessed with a lot of help, but if you have some, take it. And DON’T feel guilty about it. This was definitely a learning experience for me. Some may say that I’m a little controlling (my husband may tell you that I’m very controlling, but that’s neither here nor there), but there was a point in my new “mommyhood” that I realized, I physically cannot do everything and still be happy.

Here’s another fun fact: people are going to have their opinions and “judge” how you parent. Pardon my French… but f*#k them. This is YOUR child and you know what is best for him/her. Everyone parents differently and that is fine. Don’t let what others think or do bring you down.

Some helpful tips that I have learned along the way and feel that I should share with you:

1. I did not know how to correctly position the buckle on the infant carseat when we took Anthony home from the hospital. I posted a video on Instagram, and thank goodness a dad friend of mine corrected me. It was a learning experience that I felt I should share with new mommies. It is important that the belt buckle is positioned across the chest and not the abdomen. God forbid you have to stop short, the buckle will compress the chest and not the baby’s tiny organs in his/her abdomen. The ribs are more durable than the abdominal organs. See photo comparison.

2. How to carry an infant carseat without breaking your back (video below). This was so essential for me because of my sciatic pain. Carrying a carseat the “regular way” can literally be backbreaking. Especially if you have a little butterball that is growing at an exponential rate. The car seats on their own aren’t the lightest, and then adding your little bundle of joy makes it even heavier, especially as the months go on. (Video at the bottom of this post!)

3. Play with the medicine syringe from the get-go. You will thank me later. I used to just put some water in it and squirt it out, and he thought it was the funniest thing. I would let him hold it on his own and even squirt some water in his mouth. Him being comfortable with it has helped me DRASTICALLY when I actually do have to give him medicine.

4. Always make sure to completely dry your baby’s butt before putting on diaper cream (otherwise you are just locking in the moisture and making the problem worse). If your baby has a bad rash, before you put them in the bathtub, apply some Vaseline or Aquaphor ointment to create a barrier between the skin and the water. I kept a blow dryer next to Anthony’s changing table and used it on very low heat to quickly dry his bottom after each diaper change. This is actually less painful for them if they do have an active rash, rather than you rubbing a rough towel over it to dry. He actually enjoyed the noise and the warmth. Please, PLEASE make sure it is on low heat and far enough away from your baby’s bottom as to avoid any injury.

5. If you’re breastfeeding, keep a hair tie on your wrist that you can switch back and forth between wrists. With each feed, move the hair tie to the opposite wrist so you know which breast to start on for the next feed. This may sound weird, but it is SO helpful to keep track of which breast to use next. When you’re sleep-deprived and the baby is screaming, it’s hard to recall much of anything. This will help make sure the milk is evenly distributed on both sides, and it gives your nipples a break, which lowers the risk of cracking and blistering.

6. DO NOT GET BUTTON-UP PAJAMAS, and if you do, don’t put them on for bedtime. Yes, they are adorable, but no, they are not worth it when you’re already running on empty. Trying to match up the snaps at 4am is not a fun game to play. Choose your battles. Zip-ups are perfect for bedtime, and for when they are on the move, you may even consider a two-piece pajama set because getting them to lay down after a certain point is literally an Olympic sport.

7. Always keep a spare change of clothes in the car for possible blow-outs. That being said, also make sure you always have extra diapers and wipes in the car, too. There is nothing worse than getting to where you’re going and realizing that you forgot any of the above and finding that your child is literally full of sh*t. You may even want to keep a spare shirt in the car for yourself for the first few months after baby is born. Spit-up tends to happen often - usually when you’re already at your breaking point.

8. Stop comparing yourself to other moms. READ THAT AGAIN. There is no right way that works for every child. You have to do what is best for you and your baby. You are his/her mom and you know best. Don’t let other people make you feel inferior. We are all lost at some point in our day and that is fine. Stop trying to be the “perfect mom.” There is no such thing. You are already the perfect mom for your child.

9. Head to my “You Leave the Hospital … Now What!?” post for more pointers!